This is my first foray into blogging for The Play Your Way Network, so please…be gentle.

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Apparently, football season is upon us and with this momentous occasion comes some joy, pain, and sadness. For those of us that also participate in fantasy football, and there are some 59 million(!!) of us that do, this is also a time of great apprehension. The average amount a fantasy owner pays each season can reach into the hundreds, even thousands. That can be a lot to “invest” in a squad that may yield “diddly” and “squat” for their owners. This stress can, and will, bleed into several aspects of your life and we here at The Play Your Way Network have some solutions to help you navigate an arduous season so even if you don’t win your league, you will still emerge from this season victorious, The Player Way!

 

“Alright, you two have fun. I’ve got a draft in 20 minutes so don’t disturb me”

First thing you need to do is set the new standards in your personal life. Let your significant other know that you will be emotionally, physically and financially unavailable for the next 14 or so weeks. This may be a great time to find a platonic, non-threatening replacement for yourself so that your significant will still have the support system you will be unwilling unable to provide. For work, this would be a great time for you to “develop a chronic illness” that will undoubtedly preclude you from working, let’s say, from Thursday-Monday. Just tell ‘em that you’ll be able to invert your work week of 40 hours two days. If you time it right, you could have 8 hours of sleep between two 20-hour days. If you have children, it might be the best time enlighten them to how to cope with your inevitable death. As morbid as it sounds, they need to figure out how to deal without you in their lives by sending them off to relative or close friend for a few months. Not only will it build their character, just think about how happy your children will be to see you at the end of the season.


 

Next, you must find an environment suitable for your current state. Not everyone wants to discuss the Top 5 Independent Defensive Players and why JJ Watt is ranked number four. It is your job to seek out like-minded individuals so that you will not find yourself alienating large groups of people with fantasy jargon like “touchdown”, “Field Goal”, and “Butt Fumble”. Some good spots to seek other owners out may sports bars, ball games, or Gambler’s Anonymous meetings.

Those meetings can be an added bonus if you are into daily fantasy and need some tips on value buys from the pros. Inevitably you will be thrust into a situation where it is taboo to discuss fantasy football. Learn to recognize these environments so that you may avoid them at all cost.

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“Brady for Rodgers? Not today SATAN!!!” *REJECTED*

You don’t want to risk missing out on rejecting your opponents trade out of spite for beating you by a field goal the previous week. So, keep all your alert notifications active and loud for every roster move no matter if your in a library, movie, or your daughters dance recital. Just think of all of her other dumb hobbies you can pay for with your winnings.

 


Finally, you must think of an exit strategy. Fantasy season is fleeting and as you get caught up in the rapture, normal time will cease to exist. Waiting a day for a waiver wire pickup can seem like an eternity. However, missing deadlines, appointments and birthdays will become the norm in that great quest for the Perfect Lineup. But as the dust settles on another fantasy football season, you don’t want to be caught flat-footed going into the off season. You need that time to recover from a long, hard-fought season. Take the first couple weeks off, go on trip with your winnings, buy a new car; retail therapy is real and necessary #TreatYoself! When you come back recharged, you may notice a group of people that look familiar and you will realize that they are your non-fantasy friends and family. They may be worried about you and your Acute Thumb Cancer, while wondering how you recovered from the chemo so fast. They could ask if you used the rent money to pay your fantasy dues. Or, they could mention words that may rhyme with “Mint-ter-vention” and starts with an “I”. That’s your cue to get back into the film room, lock the door, and start studying film for next season. It doesn’t matter that you six months out from the first game.

Just remember the NFL’s Best Coach’s motto: “NO DAYS OFF!!”

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Written by LarryTheGreat

Novice blogger, professional good guy.

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